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Friday, January 10, 2003
REBEL YELL

After being amused by
Radley's post about the Trent Lott Middle School and the fact that their mascot is the Black Panther, I did a little googling and found this item:

There is a Strom Thurmond High in SC. The mascot? The Fighting Rebels.
posted by Jimmy 9:06 AM
Wednesday, January 08, 2003
A CRANK-GRABBIN' GOOD TIME

Penn Jillette of Penn & Teller fame has a
funny piece on the TSA drones grabbing his crotch without asking, which is assault. He called a local cop. Funny.

A great quote from Jillette talking to a PR chick from FAA: "freedom is kind of a hobby with me, and I have disposable income that I'll spend to find out how to get people more of it."

[Link via Tiffy]
posted by Jimmy 9:53 AM
RESTON BEEEEEEEEELOOOOOOOOOOWS

As if you need another reason to NOT go out in Reston or Herndon,
Fairfax County donut-jammers are going into bars, grabbing patrons, and throwing them into drunk tanks.

[Link via Rodgie]
posted by Jimmy 9:39 AM
DRAGGIN' HER FEET

Still eagerly awaiting the results of
Evie's Drag Queen Name Contest. I entered a few. I'm not sure what the grand prize is, but I'm hopeful.
posted by Jimmy 9:05 AM
AMERICA’S FUTURE SEERSUCKERS

Never let it be said that AFF’s
Brainwash shies away from the critical issues of the day. Faced with an imminent war, evidence of bioterrorist activity in London, and the debate over a fiscal stimulus package, Raul Damas has taken on THE BIG ISSUE: that pretty little blazer-clad conservatives should really eat in nice restaurants.

Fresh off his politically-controversial piece on the America’s Cup, in which (reading between the lines), he personally offered to fellate Larry Ellison, he whines about how his circle of friends won’t dine with him on white tablecloths. An excerpt:

I’m tired of being the only person under 40 in Washington’s non-chain restaurants. “Restaurant Week” starts next Monday and I’m planning on, once again, spending it dragging my poor girlfriend from one Geritol commercial to another.

Boo hoo. If only we could all have Damas’s genteel devotion to cuisine, we too could trade in our bar-hopping hooligan lifestyles for fine dining at Restaurant Week participants like 1789 in Georgetown or Saveur in Georgetown or Clyde’s of Georgetown.

Which brings me to my thoughts on America’s Future Foundation. It is supposed to be a big tent “classical liberal” organization that brings conservatives and libertarians together. But if this is the case, shouldn’t Brainwash tackle the issues on which we agree, and avoid coming off as an uberconvervative guide to bourgeois tastes? Seriously, the last thing I need from a political organization is someone blathering on about how I should really like fine dining and sailing. I don’t need training in tying a bow tie or instructions on the proper polishing and maintenance of wingtips, either.

I’ve enjoyed attending a few AFF roundtables, but I have has always been suspicious of the organization. It was founded by Ed Feulner, the top dog at Heritage, and I can’t help but bandy about the idea that it is part of some conspiracy to make us all Beemer-driving conservative assholes.

When Damas complains that the restaurants he fancies are full of old ladies, he should look in the mirror. The fact of the matter is that conservatives have much more in common with rich grandmas than they do with libertarians. In fact, if it were not for the tighter skin and smarminess, young conservatives might be mistaken for wizened old bags – they spend their time complaining about “kids today,” going to church, and waxing nostalgic for the old days. They live in old school DC neighborhoods and vote more often. They like to shop at fine stores and eat at expensive restaurants. They judge their neighbors by their lifestyles and the cars they drive. They think a night out means going to Georgetown for dinner. I don’t know a single libertarian who would give up his twenties so that he could become a pompous dickspit with the lifestyle of a post-menopausal retiree. But Brainwash spouts this drivel about how we should all really learn to appreciate the finer things and quit living like tavern-dwelling heathens.

Don’t get me wrong – libertarians are far from cool. But at least the ones I know have learned a few important truths about life in your twenties:

1. A dive bar is more fun than a fancy restaurant.
2. It’s better to spend your time with live music than half-dead patricians.
3. Adams Morgan and U Street are always preferable to Georgetown and Capitol Hill.
4. If you have to wear a tie to go out, you should reconsider your plans.
5. The smell of stale beer is always preferable to the farts of old ladies at Blackie’s House of Beef.

Damas ponders why his pals prefer fun to foie gras:

Perhaps it’s the bourgeois nature of restaurant dining that turns off my friends. I’m often whisked out of perfectly decent drinking establishments only to find myself in some “really neat dive bar.” Newsflash: There is nothing tackier than “playing working class,” especially when one arrives to the playground in a BMW. Discount beer does not “a man of the people” make.

Oh, are your friends all heiresses and royalty? I would assume that the friends of young Damas are geeky Hill-rat suck-ups, like most young conservatives in this town. Meaning, they earn $19k/yr and live in a shitty group house in East Capitol Hill. No, they’re not playing “working class,” they are working class. A masters in public policy from Pepperdine or Hillsdale does not automatically make you rich at 25.

The only way these young snips would be “playing” a lifestyle is if they took the advice of Damas, and spent their time watching regattas, browsing at Pink, and donning their blazers to dine at DC Coast – while at the same time living in rented apartments, driving used cars, and wondering how they can pay the rent on a LA’s salary.

No, the posers aren’t the young conservatives drinking discount beer. The posers are the young pseudo-high-hats with student loans and credit card debt who scrape up $60 so that they can clink crystal at Jeffrey’s, all the while craning their necks to see if that really is Bob Dole in the corner. Drop the façade, boys. It’s just silly to see GenXers disguised as contessas.

But since Damas has taken on the task of refining our tastes, I have to assume that we can anticipate more bow-tied pablum from this stereotypical conservative. Potential insightful articles may include:

Jos. A. Bank vs. Brooks Brothers: Can JAB Ever Measure Up?

Beware the Steaming Divit: Tips and Outfits for Watching Polo Matches

Finding a Sponsor at Congressional Country Club

Buying Your Girlfirend a Hat at Talbot’s: A Primer

Old Town Alexandria: Hip to the Core

I hope the righties reading his piece don’t take him seriously. It’s not worth giving up your youth to conform to some pretentious image of conservatism. As for me, I’m not ready to give up enjoyment of life to sit around the Caucus Room, trying to look my best in case Karl Rove walks in. I pledge to never conform to the silliness of poserdum. When summer comes, expect to see me in shorts, not seersucker.

posted by Jimmy 8:16 AM



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